S34E05: Dirty Deed

done dirt cheap

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Sandra is awesome. Even though she’s Andrew’s pick, I’m rooting for her anyways. In fact, I am dedicating this entire entry to the queen of Survivor. I know some people think she’s over-confident. And to that I say, “has she been wrong though?” The answer: no, she has yet to be wrong. She’s just dropping truth bombs like she’s Tracy Jordan!

Image result for tracy jordan truth bombs
TJ agrees with me!

Sandra has also yet to receive a single vote this season. Yes, the only player to win twice has yet to be targeted. Amazing. In fact, in her entire Survivor career she has only received one single vote that has counted. Seriously. Only one. Single. Vote. And you know she’s never won individual immunity either, so she’s always been vulnerable.

Also the number of winners she has taken out this season

She was up to her old tricks this episode, and it worked like a charm! Time for some Survivor history!


To S07: Pearl Islands!

Sandra’s alliance had been hashtag blindsided post-merge, and this little-known male player — who totally was never a national sensation — was voted out:

Rupert: the VP of the United States in an alternate universe

How does Sandra react now that she is next in line to be voted out?

Do nothing? NO, silly!

She dumps out a bucket of fish that Rupert caught before he was voted out. Yep, a whole bucket of them. And you know what happened when the remaining castaways saw a bunch of dead, rotting fish laying on the beach? They blame this girl with weird hair and vote her out:

Image result for christa survivor pearl islands hair
Christa Hastie: Sandra’s closest ally

She took the target off of herself by messing with the group’s food and lets her ally take the blame for it. The resulting dissension gets her ally voted out. As long as it ain’t Sandra, she don’t care.

To S20: Heroes vs. Villains!

Sandra’s alliance had been hashtag blindsided pre-merge, and this little-known male player — who totally was never a national sensation — was voted out:

Boston Rob: Jeff Probst’s one true love

How does Sandra react now that she or her closest ally is next in line to be voted out?

Do nothing? NO, stupid!

Russell mistakenly believes he is running the show on the Villains tribe, and Parvati he is trying to decide whether to take out Sandra or Courtney next. Sandra decides there is a better option, this weirdo with crazy hair:

Coach: the only man on the tribe besides Russell

She straight up convinces Russell that Coach is coming after him (he wasn’t), and, with another man gone, the Heroes will really believe there is an all women’s alliance on the Villains tribe (leading to JT’s letter). Coach, a strong challenge competitor, gets voted out.

To S34: Game Changers!

Sandra’s alliance had been hashtag blindsided post-swap, and this little-known male player — who totally was never a national sensation — was voted out:

Malcolm: too soon to make a joke 😥

How does Sandra react knowing the dude who screwed Malcolm over is gunning for her?

Image result for sandra diaz twine survivor
Make Jim faces? NO, sassy!

She eats all the sugar to create more infighting between these two strong personalities with distinguishing hair:

Image result for jt survivor game changers
JT: a strong challenge competitor who owes Stephen Fishbach $1M
Michaela: not a “Queen” but a “yaaaaas queen

She eats all the sugar (no, not the Survivor player), and convinces JT that it was Michaela who did it. JT starts targeting Michaela. JT discussed in one of his exit interviews that Sandra made him feel so comfortable that he didn’t bring his idol to tribal. JT gets hashtag blindsided.

Let me repeat.

JT’s plan last episode backfired in getting out Sandra, and it resulted in JT’s main ally on his tribe, Malcolm, to be voted out. He was already at a 5-to-1 disadvantage on his tribe before Malcolm was ousted, but he has now epically screwed over the majority, thus making the ginormous target on his back even bigger. JT realizes this, so he finds an idol. Sandra then eats all of the sugar. Sandra straight up convinces JT that Michaela ate all of it. In his exit interview, JT said that once he watched the episode and found out it was Sandra who did it that it all started making sense: Sandra was the one who kept on bringing it up and riling him up over it. Remember that stealing food is a grave sin in Survivor, plenty people have been voted out for it — like this dingus and his glorious mason jars from last season:

Taylor: steals food and impregnates his non-girlfriends

According to JT, Michaela has been hard to live with at the beach, so he believes — and is fully encouraged by Sandra — that this is the final straw for her. I mean, who in their right mind would keep someone around that is stealing their food and making tribe life difficult? Nobody! Sandra then makes (fake) plans with JT about him bringing her into the majority (the original Nuku is outnumbering the original Mana) once the tribes merge. JT mentioned this in his exit interviews. Sandra is convincing as hell; people who have played with her talk about how she lies with little pieces of truth, which only makes it harder to cross check.

Survivor GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
S20: Heroes vs. Villains

In conclusion, JT thinks Michaela has pissed off everyone in the tribe, and he discussed detailed plans with Sandra what to do once they hit the merge. He therefore feels safe enough to not bring his idol to tribal. Poor schmuck didn’t see it coming.

But Varner sure did

Who knows how much longer Sandra will be able to last, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed that she has already made it this far. I’m rooting for you, Queen!


Point breakdown, in rankings order:

  1. Justin:
    • Tai
      • +3 for finding another hidden immunity idol (HII) clue
      • +1 for tribe winning immunity challenge
      • 10 confessionals so far
    • JT
      • +3 for finding HII clue
      • +5 for finding HII
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • +1 for Jeff praising him during a challenge
      • Voted incorrectly at tribal, ends with a 25% voting accuracy (7.5 points, a -7.5 point decrease since last week)
      • Ended with 19 confessionals
  2. Audrey:
    • Andrea
      • +1 for tribe winning immunity challenge
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • +1 for Jeff praising her during a challenge (side note: Andrea has been KILLING these challenges)
      • 3 confessionals so far
  3. Andrew
    • Aubry
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • Voted incorrectly at tribal, now has a 63% voting accuracy (18.75 points, a -6.25 point decrease since last week)
      • 4 confessionals so far
    • Sandra
      • +1 for episode title
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • Voted correctly at tribal, now has a 88% voting accuracy (26.25 points, a 1.25 point increase since last week)
      • 16 confessionals so far
  4. Daniel
    • Debbie
      • +1 for tribe winning immunity challenge
      • 13 confessionals so far
  5. Kate
    • Michaela
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • +1 for Jeff praising her during a challenge
      • Voted correctly at tribal, now has a 88% voting accuracy (26.25 points, a 1.25 point increase since last week)
      • 11 confessionals so far
    • Zeke
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • +1 for tribe winning immunity challenge
      • +1 for Jeff praising him during a challenge
      • 4 confessionals so far
  6. Dianne
    • Cirie
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • +1 for tribe winning immunity challenge
      • 7 confessionals so far
  7. Britney
    • Ozzy
      • +1 for tribe winning reward challenge
      • +1 for tribe winning immunity challenge
      • +2 for Jeff praising him at both challenges
      • 4 confessionals so far
Current Placements:
1 Justin 91.4 Points
2 Audrey 62.3 Points
3 Andrew 61 Points
4 Daniel 54.4 Points
5 Kate 46.8 Points
6 Dianne 34.4 Points
7 Britney 13.7 Points

Top Earning Players:
1 Tai 59 Points
2 Troyzan 47.1 Points
3 Malcolm 45 Points
4 Sierra 41.4 Points
5 Brad 40.7 Points
6 Debbie 38.3 Points
7 Hali 36.6 Points
8 Michaela 35.4 Points
9 Jeff 35.3 Points
10 Sandra 34.9 Points
11 JT 32.4 Points
12 Aubry 26.2 Points
13 Caleb 23.7 Points
14 Tony 16.1 Points
15 Ozzy 13.4 Points
16 Andrea 12.3 Points
17 Zeke 11.4 Points
18 Cirie 10.7 Points
19 Sarah 9.4 Points
20 Ciera 0.3 Points

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